Sometimes no matter how hard you try, there’s just too much against you.
Sometimes no matter how many people are with you, you feel like you’re all on your own.
Sometimes “I love you” is all you want to hear, but it goes unsaid.
But we always have our hope, everyone should keep that at heart, there’s always a way back to the top when you’re at rock bottom.
I don’t know why, but lately I’ve become obsessed with wanting to know what’s gonna happen in my life, what direction it’s gonna take.
I’m not satisfied with just waiting for everything to happen, and come together. Yep, impatient Deena strikes again. wanna know where this year is gonna take me. Like last year i would have loved to know what was in store, would have prevented so much crap that went on.Imagine if someone walked up to you, and just told you everything thats going to happen to you over the next few years? I don’t know if the majority of people would like it, or hate it? But at this stage I think I want to know. It’s completely contradicting my normal view on things, but for once I wanna be prepared. I’m the most unprepared person, when it comes to EVERYTHING! And I just want things to be different
Like people I’ve met that have turned out to be completely not what they seemed? I could have avoided all that, and saved myself a little hardship? If you’d even call it that. If I just knew what was coming in advance.
I could see the results of my own mistakes, and know not to make them, and I could just I dunno, I think I’d find it easier to breathe.
There’s nothing I want more than that whole “perfect life”. But since college started I just went a bit crazy and lived in the moment a bit too much?
I’m over that now, and I wanna play things safe for a while. Be happier. I have who i need in my life. And the whole being crazy thing is becoming less appealing by the day. This probably makes no sense to you reading this. You see, I know exactly what I’m talking about, but i cant bring myself to say it, which is pathetic enough in itself.Apologies! But i think with the end of the semester, its the end of my little crazy chapter. Its all finito now, i just wanna be happy now.. Not temporarily happy, like a constant. No more craziness! I just wanna have a more predictable life, I’m not sure if that’s the right word! But I’m sick of pretending, and hiding everything out of fear, i just want everything to be simple again. No more complications. I want things to be out in the open. Imagine how much easier that would be for everyone? Think about your life? Imagine it with no secrets, things would be a hell of a lot easier, for all involved.
This blog has changed from one topic, completely to another. I think it’s the painkillers. Sorry guys. I cannot for a second imagine anyone’s gonna like this blog, but oh well. Gonna post it anyways, be a rebel! It’s nice to vent!
Like literally the world is seeming more fucked up by the second, cannot get out of this rut, and can’t even sleep to make it go the fuck away.
I need to vent, so i’m going to vent the crap out of this mind frame, i know thats all that’ll make it go away, because right now, it’s making me feel sick.
I dunno, I guess this is part of life like, but honestly, i do not need bs right now.
This summer i worked hard to filter all that out of my life, and now it feels like it’s getting its creepy little disgusting claws back in the door of my life.
I can’t let that happen!
For the first time in a long time i’m actually content, not happy, but content with where my life is going like, all optimism aside i think i’m doing pretty well, but this week has just been so SHIT.
It’s like, crazy! Like there was so many good times this week, but right now, all i can comprehend are the times where i was just like, i dunno, down and out.
Which is so STUPID and it’s completely the opposite to what i stride to do on a day to day basis, it goes against my whole “good outweighs evil” theory. Like i need to get out of this, it’s just BLAH.
Like there’s some people i just can’t be dealing with anymore, seriously, just like, oh my god. Them people know this pretty well so it’s okay now, but like, even still, jesus christ i dunno why this week it seems to be constantly on my mind!
The purpose of sucking all the snake venom out of a bite is so it can’t damage you anymore, like it cannot ever hurt you again, but it seems like even though i done that, i think there’s still some venom creeping around, and that venom needs to literally LEAVE. Like right now.
In my opinion, the best type of magic is love. Love is what keeps families strong when times are really tough. Love is what you feel when you hug your best friend for the first time in ages. Love is what you feel when you’re completely proud of someone. Love is what you feel when you respect someone to the highest, and aspire to be like them, like your parents, or an idol, anyone.
Love is magic. Magic is love.
fallenangelsbrokenhearts 